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Things everyone says to a magician.

September 9, 2019

Gentleman, shouting out at the magician "do my wife! Do my wife now!" May not be too wise, especially when your wife has no idea who I am and what's going on, doesn't know you've just witnessed me read someone's mind, and all they can see is their rather inebriated partner hugging a compete stranger and begging him to "do my wife!".

 

However it is something that is yelled at me on a weekly basis, there's not many jobs where I have men begging me to do their girlfriends or wife's, and thankfully for them, I'm professional enough not to make a smutty joke of it.  Although it has to be said that it doesn't stop their friends from doing such. 

 

"Can you make my husband/wife vanish?" That's another one , and it's always met with great laughter as if they think it's completely original. 

 

Of course years of performing and hearing this all the time allows one to train their responses to maximum effect .

 

Years ago I would have an "appearing shovel" (a magic prop that made a full size shovel appear out of your inside jacket pocket) and when inevitably presented with "can you make my wife vanish?" I would pull a full size shovel out of said pocket and reply "yes sir, where would you like her buried".

 

A magic company has produced little pill tubs with comical labels such as "wife vanisher" written on them. I know magicians who have used these.

 

However, the replies can go wrong if you over play it. 

A friend of mine , a fab magician but who perhaps thinks he is funnier than he is, nearly started a riot when asked :"can you make my wife vanish?"

 

His reply?

"Sorry there's a weight limit"

 

 

Ouch!

 

 

 

 

Of course we've all been handed an empty glass and challenged to "fill this up". Perhaps turning my back and  unzip would draw a laugh , but I can't lower myself to that.

 

And then there's the infamous "can you change this (insert amount) into (insert larger amount).

 

I'm sure people all think they are being funny and unique, but the truth is we have all heard these lines thousands of times before.

 

How do we deal with it though? Well a good magician will respond and act as if it's the first time they've ever heard it. After all we are hired to entertain .  

 

And that's the beauty of this job, like Bon Jovi once sang : "it's all the same, only the names will change".

 

I love creating a character when I perform and having a laugh and a joke with people, telling stories whilst performing and making sure that any question, no matter how many times I've heard it, gets an answer that makes people laugh and smile.

 

I always try to have a laugh and joke with people, sometimes the things they say are over the mark and quite smutty or rude.  I've been offered various sexual favours from drunk women more than once.  Obviously I always act carefully and professional in these circumstances.

 

 

 

The joy of this job is I never know what is going to happen or what is going to be said, but boy is it fun

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